We tend to recognise life’s big transitions. Starting primary school, entering university, beginning National Service or starting a new job.
But what about the start of the school holidays, a regular bus route being diverted, or an unexpected change to family meals?
Most of us may not think of these as transitions at all. They are small disruptions we adjust to and move on from.
For some, however, such transitions demand considerable adjustment. The difference lies in how they process and respond to the world around them.
Neurodivergence refers to ways of thinking, feeling or functioning that differ from what is considered neurotypical. The term is commonly used in relation to conditions such as autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and specific learning disorders.
But a label can only tell us so much. Neurodivergence looks different from person to person, and even two people with the same diagnosis can have very different strengths, challenges and support needs.
“When you meet one neurodivergent individual, you literally just met one,” says Dr Jamie Ong (Arts & Social Sciences ’08, M.Clin Psych ’11, PhD ’26), Registered Clinical Psychologist and Supervisor at the NUS Clinical and Health Psychology Centre (CHPC).
WHEN FAMILIAR STRATEGIES STOP WORKING
For some neurodivergent individuals, navigating everyday life involves strategies they have developed over time: ways of organising tasks, managing uncertainty or creating predictability in their routines.
“The strategies are effortful,” explains Ms Coco Yau (Arts & Social Sciences ’22), a clinical psychology intern at CHPC. “When circumstances change, strategies that worked before may no longer fit. They have to rethink and re-practise in order to re-adapt.”
This helps explain why a transition can be difficult even for someone who previously coped well. Changes can bring different routines, expectations, relationships and pressures — and affect individuals to varying degrees.
Anxiety can also make adjustment harder. “The emotional response to change often comes before the logical problem-solving needed to develop strategies. As anxiety builds, it becomes harder to make sense of the situation or decide how to respond,” Dr Ong explains.
WHEN CHANGE RAISES NEW QUESTIONS
For others, a transition can bring longstanding difficulties into focus, prompting them to consider neurodivergence for the first time. Many also become curious after learning more about neurodivergence and resonating with lived experiences shared through social media. But relatable traits are not the same as a diagnosis.
“Anyone in a lecture can lose attention,” Ms Yau points out. “People forget things and misplace belongings. These experiences need to be understood in the context of an individual’s life: how persistent they are and how they affect everyday functioning.”
“Assessment is not a checklist,” Dr Ong emphasises. Online tests may help someone decide whether to seek advice, but a professional assessment looks at how difficulties show up across different parts of life and considers corroborating information, such as school reports or input from family members.
The process may also not lead to the diagnosis someone expects. Its value lies in helping people understand where their difficulties come from and what support is suitable for their unique needs and circumstances.
WHEN UNDERSTANDING CHANGES THE STORY
Receiving a diagnosis can also bring a transition of its own.
Ms Yau has worked with an adult who received a diagnosis after years of wondering why certain aspects of life seemed harder for him. The diagnosis provided clarity, but also unsettled his self-identity and how he understood his life story.
Which parts of him reflected his neurodivergence? Which reflected his personality or upbringing? What might have been different had he known earlier?
The questions brought grief and some resentment. Therapy therefore became a place to work through those feelings and gradually integrate this new understanding into his existing sense of self.
SUPPORT THAT CHANGES WITH YOU
If needs can change across different stages of life, support has to be responsive too.
At CHPC, that may mean helping someone develop strategies for a particular transition, work through emotions surrounding it, or better understand difficulties with transitions.
But professional help is only one part of that support. “When someone you know is struggling, instead of offering solutions or reassurance immediately, try asking ‘How can I support you now?’” Ms Yau suggests. The answer may be a listening ear or providing company while the individual seeks professional help.
Support can also mean helping those around the individual respond to their needs. “I’ve worked with a client who was affected by his parents’ responses to his difficulties. Helping his parents understand his neurodivergence better enabled them to change how they interacted with and supported him,” says Dr Ong.
For neurodivergent children, support can involve practical preparation. Before entering a new school, parents might travel the new route with them, visit the unfamiliar environment or use photographs to show them what to expect.
The wider public has a part to play too.
Consider a child becoming distressed on public transport. A journey can involve transition after transition — home to bus stop, bus to MRT station, station to train — alongside crowds and sensory demands. A parent may know that intervening immediately can make things worse and may be waiting for the child to regulate.
To a stranger, it may look as though the parent is doing nothing. But onlookers don’t always need to step in. Intervening without asking, staring, or filming can make an already difficult situation worse. “If you feel like you cannot help, that’s fine,” says Dr Ong. “Often, simply not judging or jumping to conclusions is helpful enough.”
There is no single right point at which to seek support. Parents sometimes worry that they have waited too long; adults may wonder whether what they are experiencing is “serious enough”.
“I advocate for earliest possible intervention, but nothing is ever too late,” says Dr Ong. If something concerns you, or you simply sense that something isn’t quite right, there is no need to wait for certainty before reaching out. “Seek help whenever you feel like you need some questions answered. That’s the most important.”
Seeking an Assessment: How NUS Clinical & Health Psychology Centre May Help
- CHPC offers psychological assessment and intervention services to the public and the NUS community.
- At its intern service, clinical psychology interns work with clients under supervision of experienced clinical psychologists.
- Professional services by clinical psychologists are also available at the Centre.
For more information, visit https://fass.nus.edu.sg/psy/clinical-and-health-psychology-centre/
