{"id":4522,"date":"2024-02-07T06:26:55","date_gmt":"2024-02-07T06:26:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev-alumn-nus.pantheonsite.io\/alumnus\/?p=4522"},"modified":"2025-07-15T16:07:56","modified_gmt":"2025-07-15T08:07:56","slug":"rewriting-the-family-rulebook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/2024\/02\/07\/rewriting-the-family-rulebook\/","title":{"rendered":"Rewriting the Family Rulebook"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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\u201cI think it is impossible for society to agree on the definition of a successful family,\u201d said Mr Darius Cheung<\/a><\/span>. \u201cWe have to accept that we won\u2019t have the same definition, and that is OK.\u201d<\/p>

Mr Cheung was speaking at Singapore Perspectives<\/a><\/span> \u2013 the annual flagship conference by NUS Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy\u2019s autonomous research centre, the Institute of Policy Studies (IPS). Held on 22 and 29 January 2024, the latest edition of the conference (SP24) saw six sessions that centred on the perspectives of youths in Singapore on areas including politics, work and wellbeing.<\/p>

Mr Cheung, together with fellow NUS alumnus Dr Shannon Ang<\/a><\/span>, Assistant Professor from School of Social Sciences, Nanyang Technological University; and Mr Yuvan Mohan<\/a><\/span>, a member of the Families for Life and National Youth Council, were part of a panel for a session focusing on the topic of \u201cYouth and Family\u201d, moderated by Institute of Policy Studies Senior Research Fellow Dr Tan Poh Lin<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Apart from presenting their own insights, the panel members also addressed questions from members of the audience, including student representatives.<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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EVER-SHIFTING DEFINITONS AND EXPECTATIONS<\/strong><\/p>

Seen as a natural order of things, and one of the key priorities in life by those of older generations, youths in Singapore today have their own opinion when it comes to setting up a family of their own. Indeed, from work families and fam-bams, to single-parent and same-sex parent family units, the shape and form of what young people perceive as \u201cfamily\u201d has changed from traditional notions.<\/p>

The \u201cYouth and Family\u201d session was anchored on IPS\u2019 findings from the SP24 Pre-Conference Poll, which showed that 82 per cent of younger respondents agree that it is acceptable for an individual to remain single, and 70 per cent of respondents aged 21 to 34 years agreeing that it is not necessary to get married or have children in a marriage.<\/p>

This corresponds with the macrotrend of declining national Total Fertility Rates (TFR) in Singapore, which exacerbates the challenges posed by a greying population.<\/p>

Dr Tan Poh Lin notes, however, that despite the growing embrace of singledom, the delaying of marriage, as well as the continual decrease of the TFR, youths do not reject parenthood. Rather, material factors exist to deter them from becoming parents. Citing the 2021 Marriage and Parenthood Survey, she highlights the cost and stress of raising children in Singapore, and the difficulties in balancing work and family demands as the top reasons reported for not having more children. <\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Mr Darius Cheung shared his viewpoints as a real estate insider and father of a seven year-old.<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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TACKLING NEW NORMS AND RELATIVE SCARCITY<\/strong><\/p>

Leveraging his expertise as co-founder and chief executive officer of online property marketplace 99.co, Mr Cheung observed that rising property prices are a deterrent for youths planning to start a family of their own. Yet the real issue isn\u2019t with absolute, but relative scarcity.<\/p>

\u201cWe live in the top one to five per cent of the world: [most parents] in Singapore [don\u2019t worry] about feeding their child or putting a roof over their family\u2019s head. [More often] the problem is relative scarcity, such as choosing between a public or private preschool.\u201d Mr Cheung elaborated: \u201cThis relative scarcity gets worse when you have more than one kid and have to split your resources. The fear of inadequacy \u2013 of not providing your child with the best \u2013 is very real.\u201d<\/p>

The father of a seven-year-old child also highlighted that the situation is even worse for single mums and other non-traditional family units who do not qualify for baby bonus or tax incentives.<\/p>

Dr Ang agreed, noting that many surveys have shown that youths aspire to have children, but do not act on this: \u201cThere is a widening gap between reality and the ideal young people want. When young people say that it is expensive to raise a child, they are not talking about just monetary but opportunity costs, and this cost constantly inflates. This isn\u2019t just because they have crazy ideas of their child being at the top \u2013 even being average is expensive.\u201d<\/p>

FAMILY vs WORK: WHAT COMES FIRST?<\/strong><\/p>

The tension between pro-family and economy-first positions has to be recognised: \u201cFamily and work cannot be both first,\u201d Dr Ang stressed. \u201cIf our society values economic success more, we cannot blame young people from having that perspective.\u201d<\/p>

He also questioned the sustainability of hiring foreign domestic help so that both parents can work to sustain standards of living; or how realistic it is to see grandparents as \u201cfree childcare labour\u201d, especially when the population is expected to work for longer. \u201cI don\u2019t know how the math works,\u201d he conceded.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Dr Shannon Ang stressed that the tension between pro-family and economy-first positions has to be recognised.<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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Echoing Dr Ang\u2019s point, fellow panel member Mr Yuvan Mohan said that tension between prioritising family above economic interests need to be addressed in the shaping of public policies \u2013 from housing to CPF usage to leave allowance.<\/p>

Mr Yuvan proposed a holistic approach to youths dealing with having families \u2014 a community of care. This means having institutionalised elder- and childcare facilities, recreational and lifestyle options, alongside high- calibre schools within easy access from a person\u2019s place of residence, so that the physical environment of the community can support all aspects of family life.<\/p>

Drawing parallels to mentorship systems in the corporate world, he also proposed that youths could benefit from intergenerational conversations \u2014 and with peers who have been-there-done-that \u2014 when it comes to dealing with family responsibilities.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Audience members were treated to candid, thought-inspiring and entertaining insights from panellists at the session.<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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Photos by Jacky Ho, for the Institute of Policy Studies, NUS<\/h6>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

NUS alumni Mr Darius Cheung (Engineering \u201904) and Dr Shannon Ang (Arts and Social Sciences \u201915) shared their insights at Institute of Policy Studies\u2019 annual flagship Singapore Perspectives conference, exploring the hopes, fears, expectations of youths in relation to family life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4526,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_theme","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4522","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-leadership","category-news-events"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4522","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4522"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4522\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5070,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4522\/revisions\/5070"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4526"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4522"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4522"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4522"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}