{"id":3251,"date":"2020-10-01T08:54:03","date_gmt":"2020-10-01T08:54:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev-alumn-nus.pantheonsite.io\/alumnus\/?p=3251"},"modified":"2025-07-15T16:08:11","modified_gmt":"2025-07-15T08:08:11","slug":"goodness-gracious-we","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/2020\/10\/01\/goodness-gracious-we\/","title":{"rendered":"Goodness Gracious We!"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"3251\" class=\"elementor elementor-3251\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-acaad34 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"acaad34\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f60b1ab\" data-id=\"f60b1ab\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-71c7b3c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"71c7b3c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>STATE OF THE &#8216;HEART&#8217;<\/strong><\/p><p><i>In 2013, as part of a campaign to spark conversations on the topic, Singa \u2014 Singapore Kindness Movement\u2019s lion mascot \u2014 resigned, stating that he was tired of \u201can increasingly angry and disagreeable society\u201d. How valid is this impression of Singaporeans today? Have we made progress in our journey to becoming a kinder, more caring country since then?<\/i><\/p><p><b>OUR PANEL<\/b><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-9496bb0 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"9496bb0\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4f79dd5\" data-id=\"4f79dd5\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3064f11 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"3064f11\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-2.png\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-3255\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-2.png 500w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-2-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-2-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-d0ea1b6\" data-id=\"d0ea1b6\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-102d433 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"102d433\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>Dr Mustafa Izzuddin\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p><p><b>(Arts and Social Sciences + USP \u201905)<\/b><\/p><p>Adjunct Senior Lecturer, University Scholars Programme (USP)<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-ff53302 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"ff53302\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-bbc13b7\" data-id=\"bbc13b7\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-97150da elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"97150da\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-3.png\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-3256\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-3.png 500w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-3-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-3-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-82d7a55\" data-id=\"82d7a55\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a80b797 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a80b797\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>Ms Michelle Lau\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/b><\/p><p><b>(Arts and Social Sciences \u201918)<\/b><\/p><p>Co-Founder, KampungKakis<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5f6bf78 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5f6bf78\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6eee360\" data-id=\"6eee360\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-00e73e6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"00e73e6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-4.png\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-3257\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-4.png 500w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-4-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-4-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-019270d\" data-id=\"019270d\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ae2da95 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ae2da95\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>Ms Lee Lay Beng\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/b><\/p><p><b>(Arts and Social Sciences \u201981)<\/b><\/p><p>Retiree; Ex-Principal Medical Social Worker, Tan Tock Seng Hospital; 2003 Outstanding Social Worker Award Recipient<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-89dbaca elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"89dbaca\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-b7eb31e\" data-id=\"b7eb31e\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9cf68d4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"9cf68d4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-5.png\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-3258\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-5.png 500w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-5-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-5-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-45e380d\" data-id=\"45e380d\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-51b6f71 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"51b6f71\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>Ms Ivy Tse\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p><p><b>(Engineering &amp; Business \u201911)<\/b><\/p><p>CEO, Halogen Foundation Singapore<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f4ea170 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"f4ea170\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3ef0687\" data-id=\"3ef0687\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5187ba8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5187ba8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>WHAT, IN YOUR OPINION, IS A GRACIOUS SOCIETY?\u00a0<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-size: 1rem\"><b>Mustafa Izzuddin<\/b>: It is human nature to be selfish, so a gracious society would be one where individuals can surmount that and take care of one another, realising that everyone has a part to play. It is the spirit of gotong-royong (neighbourly cooperation) \u2014 and while we don\u2019t really have physical kampungs any more, that spirit remains its core. A gracious society is one which looks after, and spares a thought for, the vulnerable.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><b>Ivy Tse<\/b>: Graciousness to me is a way of living, and a gracious society is one that practises kindness and compassion, and adopts the other mindsets associated with these acts naturally. It is something that is in all of us \u2014 and for those who might have forgotten, it\u2019s just about tapping into our inherent nature and regaining the \u201cmuscle memory\u201d.<\/p><p><b>Lee Lay Beng<\/b>: It\u2019s a society wherein we develop not just as individuals, but as a community that cares about its members. We have focused so much on competitiveness and on training our survival instincts. But our humanity has a part to play in the development of a nation too. The COVID-19 pandemic has awakened us to the importance of living not just for ourselves, but also the community that we are part of. That said, we have a lot to catch up on \u2014 and new role models to seek.\u00a0<\/p><p><b>Michelle Lau<\/b>: I agree with Lay Beng. In a gracious society, nobody is made to feel like a stranger, and empathy and kindness are shown to all, regardless of language or cultural background. Singapore\u2019s competitive, fast-paced environment drives us to pursue academic and career excellence \u2014 and we might have lost the \u2018human touch\u2019 in the process. My hope is that while we strive to be number one in finance and everything else, we can also strive to be number one in graciousness.<\/p><p><b>IS BUILDING A COMPETITIVE NATION AT ODDS WITH NURTURING A GRACIOUS SOCIETY?<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-size: 1rem\"><b>Ivy<\/b>: The economic development of our country is something that we should appreciate and treasure, but we do need to be able to code-switch [from a competitive mode in the corporate world to a gentler way of living outside of it]. And it is possible: I left the private sector for the social service sector. But that doesn\u2019t mean that everyone has to go down that same path! A person working in a sector for good, but who doesn\u2019t actually care about the people around him or her, isn\u2019t gracious either.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><b>Mustafa<\/b>: They are not mutually exclusive. Riding on globalisation and racing to the top might have made us forget about the \u2018human\u2019 side of what we do. But to even just think about it is recognising the importance of being gracious. In fact, we see acts of graciousness in all sectors these days, from private-sector companies becoming more socially responsible to the public sector putting more effort into building an inclusive society. Things are changing \u2014 and I expect it to happen more quickly now, given the wave of social movements around the world. While Singaporean society is unique, we are not immune to global trends, and these events can motivate us to build a better society.\u00a0<\/p><p><b>Lay Beng<\/b>: Striving for excellence and being compassionate can co-exist, but I feel that we need graciousness in our leadership to build a gracious society. I see our youths doing volunteer work to build their academic portfolios \u2014 but does our education system impart important values and ethics? Or are we treating graciousness as a subject?\u00a0<\/p><p><b>HAS OUR SYSTEM CONDITIONED YOUTHS TO SEE \u201cDOING GOOD\u201d AS A CHECKLIST ITEM TO GIVE THEIR CVS AN EDGE?\u00a0<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-size: 1rem\"><b>Michelle<\/b>: Our education system and government have been trying to put more emphasis on promoting graciousness through small initiatives. And we do observe youths being enthusiastic about helping others. KampungKakis, a buddy system that matches volunteers with neighbours-in-need \u2014 with a focus on elderly and vulnerable residents who may be increasingly isolated due to social distancing measures, has seen an overwhelming number of volunteers. However, we found that the youths did not know how they could help or get the ball rolling \u2014 this is an aspect that we can improve on.<\/span><\/p><p><b>Mustafa<\/b>: As an academic, I find it hard to teach graciousness. It is not something that stops when you leave school. Values are inculcated through action. The delight derived from doing something that makes you feel like you have made a difference in the lives of others \u2014 or even just putting a smile on someone\u2019s face \u2014 will spur you to want to do more in a spontaneous and organic way. Youths doing good work can also have a cascading effect \u2014 there is no need to force it upon them. Doing 30 years of youth development work has also taught me that young people will find their own niche and understanding if you give them the freedom and space to grow. If you provide them with bottom-up, youth-inspired opportunities, and let them take ownership, they will learn. At the same time, we need to give ourselves a bit more credit: we have a burgeoning NGO sector and incredibly active young people. They can be idealistic, and so need support and guidance from mentors to help them improve on what they are doing.<\/p><p><b>Ivy<\/b>: Peer influence really works. And while I am deeply appreciative of the conversations about Gen Z and Millennials, I feel that labelling persons by their age group (\u201cOh, you are a Gen Z, so you behave this way\u201d) or shaming their behaviour (\u201cIf you don\u2019t give up your seat you are a bad person\u201d) doesn\u2019t help. I believe that everybody wants to be kind and gracious, and positive narratives that highlight those who do good can awaken that innate quality.<\/p><p><b>Lay Beng<\/b>: I respect my children and grandchildren as unique individuals. Rather than force values upon them, I try to communicate clearly why I do certain things in a certain way. For example, rather than get upset by those who might do things more slowly, I take it as an opportunity to train my patience, and I will share this with the young. The experiences that my peers and I had growing up also helped us to be more gracious. I belong to the last year of the Merdeka Generation, and back then, everybody was pulled into the same class in school, whether you were rich or poor, or even physically disabled or mentally challenged. Our teachers made an effort to treat everybody with respect and genuine care and concern, and it taught us to be accommodating of differences. But as we become more structured and systematic, we have forgotten this basic graciousness.\u00a0<\/p><p><b>Ivy<\/b>: I catch myself wondering at times about our work with youths. Volunteer work might be structured, but it is important because of the exposure it gives. Without that exposure, I would not have changed my career trajectory. Yet what is more important is the sense-making aspect of it: guidance to understand the intrinsic value of doing social work. I am often amazed by how some of my peers think and talk about society, and I have come to realise that they developed this perspective from a young age. While there is nothing wrong with a systematic way of promoting graciousness, the best way to teach it is to live it. So, while we think about youths, we also need to work on ourselves (in order to inculcate positive values).<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-dae6821 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"dae6821\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-dea5810\" data-id=\"dea5810\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bf22a7d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bf22a7d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>GIVE AND LET LIVE<\/b><\/p><p>In 2020, the World Giving Index report published by the Charities Aid Foundation (CAF) in the United Kingdom examined the trend of giving around the world over the last 10 years. Singapore ranked 46th in a list of 143 countries.\u00a0<\/p><p>The CAF polled more than 1.3 million people globally and looked at three aspects of giving behaviour. Respondents were asked whether they had done any of the following in the past month:<\/p><p>&#8211; Helped a stranger, or someone you didn\u2019t know who needed help?<\/p><p>&#8211; Donated money to a charity?<\/p><p>&#8211; Volunteered your time to an organisation?<\/p><p><i>Source: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cafonline.org\/\"><u>www.cafonline.org<\/u><\/a><\/i><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5b26e61 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5b26e61\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3aae9e8\" data-id=\"3aae9e8\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4f0c146 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4f0c146\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>DOES BUILDING A GRACIOUS SOCIETY START IN THE FAMILY?<\/b><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-96312d3 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"96312d3\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-0ad001a\" data-id=\"0ad001a\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4ff6b68 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4ff6b68\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>Michelle<\/b>: Graciousness starts from how you treat your own family. If you aren\u2019t empathetic to your own family members, it\u2019s not congruent for you to behave in such a way in public.\u00a0<\/p><p><b>Lay Beng<\/b>: We need to respect differences in families just as we respect differences in individuals. Rather than impose certain \u201ccorrect\u201d ways of doing things, we need to see where each family and individual is in their stage of growth in life. Being gracious is about building a community that respects individual differences. By doing so, we create a forgiving environment that enables one to acknowledge their problems and weaknesses. Only through such awareness can we have acceptance, understanding, and compassion.<\/p><p><b>Ivy<\/b>: It\u2019s a bit tricky when it comes to family. Every family is different, and we express emotions differently and have different beliefs. The way I see it, we are trying to move the \u2018big picture needle\u2019 slowly, without making any value-judgement or imposing an idea of how things should be. This is not about everybody moving uniformly like a marching army, but about creating a collective awareness of the importance of graciousness.\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-dbb2776\" data-id=\"dbb2776\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9855bdf elementor-widget elementor-widget-testimonial\" data-id=\"9855bdf\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"testimonial.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-content\"><span style=\"font-size: 20.8px\">Being gracious is about building a community that respects individual differences. By doing so, we create a forgiving environment that enables one to acknowledge their problems and weaknesses.<\/span><span style=\"font-size: 1.3em\"><\/span><\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-meta\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-meta-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-details\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-name\">Ms Lee Lay Beng<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-00d8fa9 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"00d8fa9\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1003a80\" data-id=\"1003a80\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-dbdb0ae elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"dbdb0ae\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" src=\"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-6574b4f56f97f436a924d3b40fad78961-1024x683.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-3253\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-6574b4f56f97f436a924d3b40fad78961-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-6574b4f56f97f436a924d3b40fad78961-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-6574b4f56f97f436a924d3b40fad78961-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-6574b4f56f97f436a924d3b40fad78961-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/goodness-6574b4f56f97f436a924d3b40fad78961.jpg 1620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-e7cec2c elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"e7cec2c\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-b282161\" data-id=\"b282161\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5295f8a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5295f8a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>WHAT IS YOUR VIEW OF THE BEHAVIOUR OF \u201cUGLY SINGAPOREANS\u201d THAT WE SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA?<\/b><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-18afa5f elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"18afa5f\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-30471cf\" data-id=\"30471cf\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0b08d66 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"0b08d66\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>Mustafa<\/b>: Ugliness is not new; it\u2019s just amplified by social media these days, and often we as viewers don\u2019t even try to understand the reasons behind the person\u2019s actions. That said, \u201cUgly Singaporeans\u201d will always be there \u2014 and you can see that side of society in any country. It\u2019s just part and parcel of society. I wouldn\u2019t arrive at any judgement about what Singapore is like solely because of them. What\u2019s important is to rise above the ugliness that is being perpetuated and bring out the goodness instead.\u00a0<\/p><p><b>Ivy<\/b>: Do our youths have any consciousness of what they consume on social media? If they only read one part of it, it would skew their perspectives and take them deeper down a certain path. In recent months we\u2019ve seen a lot of people stepping up for minorities or the disadvantaged. However, I feel that the way it has been done created a lot of \u2018You vs Me\u2019. We must be very careful with the messaging, because a gracious society should be one that brings people together, not divides them further.\u00a0<\/p><p><b>Mustafa<\/b>: Sometimes, you need loud voices to get people talking about the issues \u2014 we need a bit of messiness in society. That said, one should still be mindful and tactful. The way things are done on social media can be worrying, but instead of avoiding it, we should think about how to use it for the right purposes and how to bring graciousness into the way we use it.\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-eddf024\" data-id=\"eddf024\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-27b656a elementor-widget elementor-widget-testimonial\" data-id=\"27b656a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"testimonial.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-content\"><span style=\"font-size: 20.8px\">Our diversity is our strength. Asian values that have been localised \u2014 such as gotong-royong, and the idea of solving problems together as a community \u2014 add to that.<\/span><span style=\"font-size: 1.3em\"><\/span><\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-meta\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-meta-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-details\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-testimonial-name\">Dr Mustafa Izzuddin<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6ffe7fa elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6ffe7fa\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4ccffd2\" data-id=\"4ccffd2\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-df7a8fd elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"df7a8fd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>DOES SINGAPORE SOCIETY HAVE ANY UNIQUE ATTRIBUTES THAT MIGHT HELP US IN OUR JOURNEY TOWARDS BECOMING A TRULY GRACIOUS NATION?<\/b><\/p><p><b>Ivy: <\/b>We are very driven and meritocratic \u2014 so if we want something bad enough, we will get there! The knowledge and skills that we have acquired to build the nation into what it is today can be applied to this domain, and I do see some degree of that transfer in this area. Some might look at us from the outside and question things like our Courtesy Campaign \u2014 but that\u2019s just our modality. I don\u2019t see it as an indication of how \u201cThird World\u201d we are. Certainly, we could be more innovative, but I wouldn\u2019t be so hard on our structure. A lot of what we discussed today has been about how to structure things, and teach this and that. That\u2019s just how we are \u2014 we are just really good at structuring things! It\u2019s instinctive in Singaporeans.\u00a0<\/p><p><b>Michelle: <\/b>Our multicultural, multilingual make-up \u2014 and added to that, the huge presence of foreigners in our labour force \u2014 stands us apart from many other countries. This diversity does help us to be more embracing of differences. We are making good progress, but there is still much to learn. The pandemic has ignited the flame for helping those in need, but we can do a lot more as a collective society. I hope Singaporeans will maintain this sense of curiosity about those different from us and around us, starting from our own neighbourhoods. Also, graciousness is not a one-way street. We often think of doing good as the privileged giving to the needy. But it is even more empowering when we enable those who are less fortunate and get them to a position where they can even help others. For example, we have seen seniors who benefitted from the KampungKakis matching system stepping up to give to neighbours in the same situation as them, even in small ways such as sharing food. I find that very inspiring.\u00a0<\/p><p><b>Lay Beng: <\/b>The COVID-19 situation has given us an appreciation of the different struggles that many people have, and I have observed strong community spirit and a lot of very good initiatives throughout this pandemic. My hope is that we will never lose what we have learnt and that we will push on in growing socially, emotionally and psychologically.<\/p><p><b>Mustafa: <\/b>Our diversity is our strength. Asian values that have been localised \u2014 such as gotong-royong, which I mentioned earlier, and the idea of solving problems together as a community \u2014 add to that. To do a bit of forecasting, I think we have acts of kindness and compassion in our society in abundance, and we should be proud of what we have achieved, despite the instances where we see ungraciousness. The litmus test going forward will be how we minimise such unsavoury incidents through education and other means. Hopefully, we will be able to move from having the glass half-full, to three-quarters full.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-fce014c elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"fce014c\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2866606\" data-id=\"2866606\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bd197d1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bd197d1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong><i>If you\u2019d like to join our Forum panel, do write to us at <a href=\"mailto:MAILTO:OARconnect@nus.edu.sg\"><u>alumnihelpdesk@nus.edu.sg<\/u><\/a> to express your interest.<\/i><\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>While Singapore strives for the top spot in areas such as economic performance and technological advancement, where do we stand as a gracious society? Our senior and younger alumni from various fields share their perspectives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3252,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_theme","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3251","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3251","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3251"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3552,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3251\/revisions\/3552"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3252"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}