{"id":15895,"date":"2026-10-21T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-10-20T23:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/?p=15895"},"modified":"2026-10-21T07:20:57","modified_gmt":"2026-10-20T23:20:57","slug":"when-change-feels-too-big-supporting-neurodivergent-individuals-through-lifes-transitions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alumni.nus.edu.sg\/thealumnus\/2026\/10\/21\/when-change-feels-too-big-supporting-neurodivergent-individuals-through-lifes-transitions\/","title":{"rendered":"When Change Feels Too Big: Supporting Neurodivergent Individuals Through Life\u2019s Transitions"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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We tend to recognise life\u2019s big transitions. Starting primary school, entering university, beginning National Service or starting a new job.<\/p>

But what about the start of the school holidays, a regular bus route being diverted, or an unexpected change to family meals?<\/p>

Most of us may not think of these as transitions at all. They are small disruptions we adjust to and move on from.<\/p>

For some, however, such transitions demand considerable adjustment. The difference lies in how they process and respond to the world around them.<\/p>

Neurodivergence refers to ways of thinking, feeling or functioning that differ from what is considered neurotypical. The term is commonly used in relation to conditions such as autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and specific learning disorders.<\/p>

But a label can only tell us so much. Neurodivergence looks different from person to person, and even two people with the same diagnosis can have very different strengths, challenges and support needs.<\/p>

\u201cWhen you meet one neurodivergent individual, you literally just met one,\u201d says Dr Jamie Ong (Arts & Social Sciences ’08, M.Clin Psych \u201911, PhD \u201926), Registered Clinical Psychologist and Supervisor at the NUS Clinical and Health Psychology Centre (CHPC)<\/a>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Dr Jamie Ong<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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WHEN FAMILIAR STRATEGIES STOP WORKING<\/strong><\/p>

For some neurodivergent individuals, navigating everyday life involves strategies they have developed over time: ways of organising tasks, managing uncertainty or creating predictability in their routines.<\/p>

\u201cThe strategies are effortful,\u201d explains Ms Coco Yau (Arts & Social Sciences \u201922), a clinical psychology intern at CHPC. \u201cWhen circumstances change, strategies that worked before may no longer fit. They have to rethink and re-practise in order to re-adapt.\u201d<\/p>

This helps explain why a transition can be difficult even for someone who previously coped well. Changes can bring different routines, expectations, relationships and pressures \u2014 and affect individuals to varying degrees.<\/p>

Anxiety can also make adjustment harder. \u201cThe emotional response to change often comes before the logical problem-solving needed to develop strategies. As anxiety builds, it becomes harder to make sense of the situation or decide how to respond,\u201d Dr Ong explains.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Ms Coco Yau<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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WHEN CHANGE RAISES NEW QUESTIONS<\/strong><\/p>

For others, a transition can bring longstanding difficulties into focus, prompting them to consider neurodivergence for the first time. Many also become curious after learning more about neurodivergence and resonating with lived experiences shared through social media. But relatable traits are not the same as a diagnosis.<\/p>

\u201cAnyone in a lecture can lose attention,\u201d Ms Yau points out. \u201cPeople forget things and misplace belongings. These experiences need to be understood in the context of an individual\u2019s life: how persistent they are and how they affect everyday functioning.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAssessment is not a checklist,\u201d Dr Ong emphasises. Online tests may help someone decide whether to seek advice, but a professional assessment looks at how difficulties show up across different parts of life and considers corroborating information, such as school reports or input from family members.<\/p>

The process may also not lead to the diagnosis someone expects. Its value lies in helping people understand where their difficulties come from and what support is suitable for their unique needs and circumstances.<\/p>

WHEN UNDERSTANDING CHANGES THE STORY<\/strong><\/p>

Receiving a diagnosis can also bring a transition of its own.<\/p>

Ms Yau has worked with an adult who received a diagnosis after years of wondering why certain aspects of life seemed harder for him. The diagnosis provided clarity, but also unsettled his self-identity and how he understood his life story.<\/p>

Which parts of him reflected his neurodivergence? Which reflected his personality or upbringing? What might have been different had he known earlier?<\/p>

The questions brought grief and some resentment. Therapy therefore became a place to work through those feelings and gradually integrate this new understanding into his existing sense of self.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Ms Coco Yau and Dr Jamie Ong<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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SUPPORT THAT CHANGES WITH YOU<\/strong><\/p>

If needs can change across different stages of life, support has to be responsive too.<\/p>

At CHPC, that may mean helping someone develop strategies for a particular transition, work through emotions surrounding it, or better understand difficulties with transitions. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>

But professional help is only one part of that support. \u201cWhen someone you know is struggling, instead of offering solutions or reassurance immediately, try asking \u2018How can I support you now?\u2019\u201d Ms Yau suggests. The answer may be a listening ear or providing company while the individual seeks professional help.<\/p>

Support can also mean helping those around the individual respond to their needs. \u201cI\u2019ve worked with a client who was affected by his parents\u2019 responses to his difficulties. Helping his parents understand his neurodivergence better enabled them to change how they interacted with and supported him,\u201d says Dr Ong.<\/p>

For neurodivergent children, support can involve practical preparation. Before entering a new school, parents might travel the new route with them, visit the unfamiliar environment or use photographs to show them what to expect.<\/p>

The wider public has a part to play too.<\/p>

Consider a child becoming distressed on public transport. A journey can involve transition after transition \u2014 home to bus stop, bus to MRT station, station to train \u2014 alongside crowds and sensory demands. A parent may know that intervening immediately can make things worse and may be waiting for the child to regulate.<\/p>

To a stranger, it may look as though the parent is doing nothing. But onlookers don\u2019t always need to step in. Intervening without asking, staring, or filming can make an already difficult situation worse. \u201cIf you feel like you cannot help, that\u2019s fine,\u201d says Dr Ong. \u201cOften, simply not judging or jumping to conclusions is helpful enough.\u201d<\/p>

There is no single right point at which to seek support. Parents sometimes worry that they have waited too long; adults may wonder whether what they are experiencing is “serious enough”.<\/p>

\u201cI advocate for earliest possible intervention, but nothing is ever too late,\u201d says Dr Ong. If something concerns you, or you simply sense that something isn\u2019t quite right, there is no need to wait for certainty before reaching out. \u201cSeek help whenever you feel like you need some questions answered. That\u2019s the most important.\u201d<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Seeking an Assessment: How NUS Clinical & Health Psychology Centre May Help<\/strong><\/p>